Marrying George Clooney

mark sanford said that god will make him better. he said that. in an op-ed piece. he also said that he felt like he had been to his own funeral, and is now humbled.

hmmm.

i’d like to know who attended his “imaginary” funeral. i would wager his wife was there, along with a couple of his girlfriends. maybe they didn’t sit together, i’m thinking different pews. but that’s just me. i also wonder who spoke at his funeral. what did everyone say? who gave the eulogy? maybe someone said: “… and here lies a man who fucked us all.” i wonder if there were any floral arrangements? did they come FTD, or were they delivered personally, like in bouquets. i wonder if any e-mails were read out-loud? any of his favorite quotes? from say, rumi. maybe the guy who explained sanford’s sexual blips as a mid-life crisis was there, and elaborated. i wonder if there was a viewing of the body? perhaps he was cremated. i wonder if folks turned off their cell phones and stopped texting. or were they simply put on vibrate?

and… i wonder, really wonder, what the fuck was said at his imaginary funeral that humbled him so much? to the point where he declared, wearing both a two piece suit and a massive dose of hypocrisy that god will make him better.

you know what mark … you’re gonna have to do that all on your own. make yourself better. and whichever & whatever god you’re talking about – because for many of us god represents something or someone different  – is way too fucking busy to enable you. my advice, stop using that as an excuse for the shit you have complete control over.