Marrying George Clooney

on occassion, like say every day, i tend to read one or two of my daily horoscopes and or tarot card readings that come vis a vis e-mail. and on that occassion when i feel perky enough to take whatever it’s about to give me, i read the whole shabang, and sometimes, but not always, depending on the horoscope and or tarot reading or i-ching i will either go about my day, or stay under the covers.
today my horoscope read:
days like today are for the strong of heart and one must always laugh at the bad, the strange and even the truly hideous.
now why the fuck would i even leave the bed to pee?
this is what goes through my mind, other than i have to get on the phone (this so deserves a call) with whoever the astrologer is and tell them to please, get a script for xanax – why oh why must you fucking ruin everyone’s day just because you’re a loon pig?
the other thing that goes through my mind — the truly hideous part brings me straight to a highway or freeway and a massive huge pile-up. so not only won’t i get out of bed, i won’t get in a car.
i think all horoscopes should just simply say:
have a nice day, have a good day, forgive all, and love better, and always, always accessorize.