Marrying George Clooney

i’m not one for resolutions. i make them. i break them, i feel bad. i feel guilty. then at the end of the year — surprise — i am filled with guilt and shame and who needs that.
so, here is what i’m proposing for myself…
2010:
the year of amazing!
the year i ditch (some) fear, (most) guilt, (all) shame. no more feeling i’m not good enough, or big enough, or smart enough, or funny enough, or important enough, or anything enough.
NO MORE FEELING INVISIBLE.
I AM ENOUGH. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
no more feeling shoulda, coulda, woulda…
no more.
gone.
throw away.
what ever i do, i’m gonna do until the gas gauge goes to empty.
GIVING IT MY ALL.
GONNA BE BOLD & AUDACIOUS!
PERIOD. END OF STORY.
no more rewinding the past. looking for all those little teeny moments that make me feel bad about myself, make me feel shitty, make me feel just awful. time to throw away that tape. or at the very least when it plays, remind myself that it’s a VERY, VERY, VERY OLD TAPE and it doesn’t know better. you can’t teach old tapes new tricks.
so here’s to 2010.
THE YEAR OF REVERING MY OWN LIFE!
to loving myself and others more & better.
to using my life fully.
to not caring what others think.
to writing the truth.
and being able to say with absolute conviction:
no, i can’t. no, i won’t. i’m sorry, i don’t work for free.
please, don’t call me. take me off your speed dial.
and… of course, the BIG TOUGH HARD ONE.
OMG, you don’t like me, you really don’t like me … well, then … fuck you.

so here’s to 2010.