oh god…

yesterday i made a resolution of sorts, per my dear friend darryle pollack: i started my fuck it list. the first ah, fuck it, was to revere my life this week, the entire week. this was my goal. to revere my life, every bit of it, top to bottom. the good, the not so good, the attractive, the unattractive – and you know the moment i made that determination, the moment i sent it out into the universe, a bitch slap. yep yep. you got it. a battle between revering myself, and despising myself. i felt like i was in my own personal ring, a left jab, a right hook… finally, finally — the self loathing and self deprecating needed a rest, and for a brief moment REVERING MYSELF stood center stage,
a victory.
short lived, but visible.
it’s the old adage: murphy’s law. what can go wrong does.
but i’m getting much much better at recognizing the insidiousness of it all.
i’m telling you by friday, piece o’ cake.
then i’ll go on to my next item on my fuck it list.

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