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avatar a coupla things to get off my chest

first and foremost:
women should never ever settle for anything. period.

not men, not jobs, not their personal choices, not breakfast, not lunch, not dinner, not healthcare, not friendship, not love, not religion, not spirituality, not shoes, not clothes, not pets, not furniture, not boyfriends, not girlfriends, not vacation get-a-ways, not phone service, not pajamas, not telling someone off, not plow-men, not computers, not apples or oranges or pears.

and i know i know… sometimes many times we have to take the job, we have to take what’s in front of us, i know that. it’s called survival. it’s called being responsible and grown up, i know that. i do. all i’m saying is don’t give up on wanting better, wanting what you feel you deserve. don’t settle in the long term.

i got married at 38. before ken … i’m telling you, a lot of guys, on a scale of one to ten, maybe maybe a 3… and there were minutes, actual 60 second minutes, where i thought, “shit…” but i didn’t settle. i didn’t. i waited in what i like to refer to as “the desert of my adulthood.” and then… water appeared in the shape and form of this amazing wonderful funny good guy. i didn’t settle, i went through a huge draught, and then… boom… more than i ever expected. and 16 years later, i gotta tell you, boy oh boy was the draught worth it. in those “dry men” years – my career took off, i got my shit together, i found a great place to live and call home, i was centered, creative, aware… and i met a guy that matched THOSE STANDARDS. the other guys matched the, “will i ever have a career, where am i gonna live, what the fuck am i gonna do with my life.. oh my god, who am i?” period of my life. I met men who were as lost and confused; searching for themselves and they were sweet and funny, they just weren’t right. my one night stand-up comics as i like to call them.

desperate meets desperate.
self-esteem meets self-esteem.

it’s not always like that. but for me it was. i brought into my life a guy that matched the life i had created that was filled with joy and comfort and a self confidence that i hadn’t had pre-desert.

all that to say:

women should not settle. nor, by the way, should men… or boys or girls. no one should.

and the other thing i have to get off my chest:
i had this dream that robin williams shaved his chest and he wasn’t funny anymore.

i for one will never shave my chest. but i will get everything off of it.

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Category: Uncategorized 2 comments »

2 Responses to “a coupla things to get off my chest”

  1. avatar
    Barbara Hannah Grufferman

    Wow, Amy. You are so right. There’s this new book out now, about how women should settle for the man who may not be her “perfect”, but is “just fine.” I don’t think so. We should never settle for anything less than what we deserve and what we want.
    Thanks for writing that . . . .

  2. avatar
    Marcia Fine

    I agree! Don’t settle for anything. Ever. Even if it means being alone. I’ve now been married decades. Yes, decades. because my parents sold me at 12. And I wouldn’t settle for anything less–in the husband department–than someone smart and supportive who makes me laugh. Who knew he’d love golf and watch the bombing of Dresden repetitively on the History Channel and shave his head?
    I’ll take it.


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