comfort inn & out

i had a speaking engagement this morning. i had a breakfast speaking engagement this morning an hour away from where i live. i was speaking at a breakfast for WIB, women in business at 7:45 in the morning.
there are a few things that make me very uncomfortable, cranky… one is getting up in the morning. that, along with climbing mount everest, is an impossible task. out of the question. i am not a morning person because, well, i am an up in the middle of the night, googling and researching and writing all sorts of stuff person. the second is speaking in front of people. i get nervous, and scared and want to vomit. and i always, always feel like i need to look perfect. so i fuss and fuss, and fuss some more, and actually wear make-up. it gives me a feeling of being a grown-up. not a lot of make-up, a hint, but enough to feel you know… grown-up. and the third thing …the number three on the list: the only thing i know about business is that i need to mind my own.

so, when i asked ken if he wanted to have a sexy, romantic get-a-way kind of date, you know… i needed to make this enticing, exciting … worth his while — a night in a hotel, an adventure, a sexy get-a-way adventure, his response:
“huh, you want me to drive, right? you want me to drive, so you don’t have to drive, so then we can fight for an hour, and then we’ll get to the hotel… and then you’re gonna say you know … i don’t feel like having sex.”
after 16 years of marriage, you can not look your partner in the eye and say, “whatdya nuts, that’ll never happen.”
you look him in the eye and say:
“and BINGO was his name O. yes, could you drive?”
so ken drove me to new jersey last night. and the first miracle of miracles: we didn’t have a fight in the car. not one oh my god you’re driving too fast, not one holy shit ken the truck the truck… not one… didn’t you see that stop sign, didn’t you fucking see it?
not one.
we stayed at the comfort inn (FYI: NOT N.O.T. A SEXY ROMANTIC GET-A-WAY PLACE AT ALL…) because this was where the women in business breakfast was being held.

we had great sex.

i woke up at 6:45 AM. thank you very much.
(leaving ken fast asleep.)
I WORE NO MAKE-UP. not a stitch, because well, and this is the real miracle…i forgot my little make-up bag with my lipstick and blush and mascara, and i looked in the mirror at 6:45 this morning, and i thought: fuck it, you’re in a comfort inn, you had 4 hours sleep, you’re standing in front of a group of women in business… and you are one sexy, hot, funny 55 year old babe.
and so…
at 7:45 AM i was sitting a table, drinking coffee, chatting with some lovely wonderful folks, and then at 8:30 i was introduced. i stood in front of a group of amazing, gorgeous women (and yes, three men) and without a stitch of make-up, felt grown-up, and smart and funny, and was greeted with an amazing amount of enthusiasm and appreciation and gave a rousing speech.

and now…

it’s 11:30 am, and we are back in the comfort of our own home.

miracles. a night and day of miracles.

Category: Uncategorized One comment »

One Response to “comfort inn & out”

  1. Barbara Hannah Grufferman

    Any: HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This was so funny, I can’t even stand it. So so funny, and really wonderful and meaningful, all at the same time.
    Hey! what do you have against makeup???

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