Marrying George Clooney

okay so it’s good friday. and really what i’d like to do is turn it into a very good friday. an amazing friday. a friday that goes right off the frickin’ charts. so i’m gonna list a few things that i think are going to make this friday different than any other friday, particularly this good friday.

1) i’m going to be really kind to ken. i have been such a screaming bitch for three days, so, suffice it to say, i am going to be a clam (or ooops, CALM, thank goddess for spellcheck) influence today. i am not going to tell ken that the way he chews his food is driving me nuts, and i am certainly not going to tell him that he desperately needs a haircut. i am going to be kinder today. more loving. less critical. i am going to give him a good friday which doesn’t include sexual favors, but that’s okay, because… he KNOWS why.
2) i am going to bring candy to my neighbor. i am going to bring him a box of peeps and because he’s blind, i am going to describe each peep to him. i am going to tell him that each peep is a different pastel color, and because he’s blind, he won’t know they’re all yellow, and that way he’ll think i am a great, great neighbor.
3) i am going to clip both my kitties toe nails. i am going to clip them just a bit because they have destroyed our wood floors and i have asked ken numerous times to please, please, please, fucking clip their toe nails, but ken doesn’t like to do that, he thinks it’s too girly. he would prefer to replace the floor. so today i will clip the toenails of my two little kitties, and tell them how much i love them, and then i will throw the clippings at ken.
4) i will not drink until after 5 pm today.
5) i will be VERY VERY VERY happy for all my girl friends who are basking in huge success now and rightfully so, they worked hard and put their souls into their work, their new gorgeous books, and i am hoping HOPING that they will remember me next good friday when i am locked down 24/7.
and last but not least:
i will limit my spending.
well, online anyway.