Marrying George Clooney

okay. round up.

the quaids — randy & evi – are in jail. i am betting right now that in three years from now, randy quaid will be the guy to beat at the oscars. it will be his comeback film: MY LEFT FOOT JAMMED UP YOUR ASS,  he will play a quadriplegic country western singer who also had an illegitimate child with a stripper named OREO.

lindsay lohan is no longer bankable. oh wait…. wait.  a psychic moment: maybe she’ll play the stripper. oh…. come on. come on. that’s perfect … unless of course marisa (I heart marisa) tomei wants the part. then forget lindsay. she’ll be a hostess at perkins or applebee’s.

whitney houston can no longer sing AND I- E-I-E-I-E-I E-I – WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU -WHOOOOOOO. well, hello, that makes sense. i get it. she will not always love me or you. it’s impossible. and,  by the way, word is, she can no longer dance with somebody.

jesse james is no longer wearing his wedding band. FUCKING PIG ROT IN HELL, MAN. and no, i have not changed my mind about The Blindside.

lesbian love is forbidden at certain bowling alleys in the northeast. oh my fucking god  … lesbian love is forbidden at bowling alleys??????!!!!!!!!!! why do you think it was called a gutter ball for god sake! it had nothing to do with the eight to ten pounder sparkler with finger holes. girls frickin’ rule!!!!!! what should be forbidden – truly – are the hotdogs & burgers sold at these bowling alleys. schmucks.

and my last round up.

i heart my women friends each and every one of them. some have gorgeous CD’s out, some write books & plays, some sing songs with their daughters, they edit books, they publish books, they’re agents, and performers and teachers and nurses and mom’s and daughters and sisters, and doctors, and deacons, and design FABULOUS plastic jewelry, and some are having babies, and some are becoming grandma’s, and some are adopting pets and some are leaving their husbands and finding new love, and some are helping their husband’s with retirement & transistions, and some are standing tall, and some are going on book tours, and some are overcoming cancer and some are lifting us all, and some… some… are writing plays that will save many other women’s lives, some live in houston texas, some in santa monica, brentwood, maine, new hampshire, some in virginia, some in washington dc, some in miami, some in arizona,  some in los angeles, some in northeast pennyslvania, some in berkeley, oakland, san fran-cisco!!!!!  some in new mexico, some in nyc: upper east & west,  lower and chelsea.

and some … some are living in portland oregon making us believe truly believe that we are enough, we are enough.

a gracious plenty.

oh, and some … of my friends are named richard.

and ken and peter. and david. and michael and bob and robert and frank and tommy.