MA: mac-aholic

last night i was away from my computer for a couple of hours. i used to laugh (not in their face, that would be rude) at my women friends who said they were feeling uneasy, jittery, anxious, sexually inhibited every time they would leave their laptops, or in my case, MacBook at home — WITH THEIR … HUSBANDS.
i would laugh at that. i would, behind their backs, snickering saying things like, geez… boy oh boy… it’s just a computer people. just a computer
well, needless to say. it is not just a computer.
it keeps me warm, it keeps me sane, it keeps me laughing at my own jokes, it keeps me up to date, it makes me feel smart and one step ahead,
no, no…oh no… it’s not just a computer.
it’s my sexy little heating pad. resting on my belly while i type away, it warms me on a cold night (i know sick…sick, frickin’ sick)
it’s a lifeline. when ken is sleeping and i’m awake, i get to write and read and inquire… my laptop, my macbook is a great listener. the perfect listener. it doesn’t say a word back, it accepts my flaws, my grammatical mistakes… it doesn’t judge. it’s my best friend at 3 am.
it’s quiet and unassuming. it allows me to be myself.
and so last night, for the first time in a long time, i didn’t schlep my computer with me. it’s not that i would have used it. i wouldn’t have, it’s not that i would have even taken it out of the case, my bag. it’s just there is something about knowing that at any moment, any god given moment, i can click on my laptop/MacBook and find out anything & everything. My computer enables me to be smart, when i’m hemming & hawwing for an answer, i can just type in google and boom…a few seconds later i can join in any conversation without feeling … hmmmm… what does gingrich-itis mean? it’s right there.
and so last night i had to wing it. Mac stayed home with Ken and i got through my sudden urges, anxiety attacks, and was able to carry on a conversation without excusing myself to go to the ladies room where i would scramble to get some wifi, and come out so much smarter.
last night i held my own.
and for three hours i blew through the fear with a glass of white and some amazing woman at my side.

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One Response to “MA: mac-aholic”

  1. Hollye Dexter

    You are so brave…..sniff sniff

    Don’t know that I could do the same.
    First step is admitting I have a problem, I know.

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