Marrying George Clooney

Life. Part 7.

these are the things on my mind today as i am about to get up and meditate, or more precisely, make believe i am meditating. it is very hard for me to sit in one position and be mindful for twenty minutes. it is very hard for me to sit in one position period. and i am going to digress for one moment, please indulge me… because as i write this a wonderful & silly and truly fucked up memory pops up. i was maybe twelve years old, and i had a girl crush, not a lesbian crush, but a girl crush – an older girl who was just so cool. i mean, so frickin’ cool, but the thing was she had a facial tick … she was so beautiful, but had this tick, this facial tick and because i wanted to be her, i did the whole facial tick thing. i mimicked her. i did. for like months and months and months. and i’m sure because she was older and wiser, thought, hmmmm, crazy, man. i know, i know. I KNOW. it was crazy. crazy love.

okay. back to today.

first: gary coleman. i mean really, whatdya say? i don’t even know if i’m supposed to feel sad or upset about this. i mean, i never watched the show dif’frent strokes, or is it d’ffirent strokes and so i’m not approaching this as a TV watcher … and, HELLO.. hello, the fact that he abused his wife (and she him, by the way), that he was arrested, which i have to say, the guy is what, 4 feet 3 inches (oh my god i’m being so fucking petty), and his wife is what, like, 5 feet 8, (again, petty) and couldn’t she just put her arm out and say, “hey buddy, i’m gonna fucking cream you.” and yes, yes, yes i know, i know, and i’m sorry, i’m gonna get completely black listed for saying this, but the guy came up to her vagina. okay, obviously, obviously … this is much more upsetting than i thought it was. and i know there are folks out there who love him, and really liked the show, and my rant probably has nothing to do what-so-ever with his TV show slash brilliant acting talent and everything to do with his behavior, and abuse. however, the fact that this is news – HEADLINE NEWS – at all, given the god awful, horrific oil spill and all other sad tragic world news. CRAZY.

second: friends who keep me on hold when they get another call. for god sake. three times today. three different women. and then, then after holding for what feels like months, they come back on the phone and say: hey, listen, gotta go. i have another call. excuse me. that is rude crazy shit. no more. you keep me on hold for longer than 30 seconds, i’m hanging up… bye bye. i mean, you just can’t keep someone on hold forever and then come back and basically say, “hey… someone else is more important than you.”

oh. that makes me crazy. and yes, it makes me feel diminished & small … which now makes me realize, this very minute, that i in fact have an inner angry gary coleman.

welcome to CrazyVille.
but the good news… it’s only two stops before CandyLand.