I am thoroughly convinced that a GPS GIRL is just like a pet.
you know how your pet starts taking on your characteristics?
okay, maybe not your pet, my pet. my pets. my cats, bella & lotus are just like us. lotus is happy & content & loves sex. bella likes googling old felines and leans toward anxious & cranky.
i have found that the GPS GIRL takes on the personality of the owners and/or city you rent a car from. For instance, when we were in LA we rented a car, and the GPS girl was slightly snarky, a bit aggressive and very impatient. when she said re-calibrating she said it with attitude. sort of like, “hey, i own this town, you’re just a visitor.”
in new mexico the GPS girl was more enlightened, less snarky, much more tolerant, and preferred to let me drive around for awhile in a zen like fashion — figuring that maybe i needed to get a little lost and then find my own way. sort of like, “que sera sera.”

which brings us to this week. tuesday. we borrowed a GPS from our friends. two lovely sweet wonderful calm friends. calm people. we were driving from our home to rockport, and i of course felt that we needed some direction and since mapquest takes you out of the way for about an extra hour, i thought we should give the GPS girl a whirl. so, we borrowed the device, and yes just like our friends, the GPS girl was very calm, charming, sweet, very subdued and lovely, and then … no shit … something amazing happened … about 2.5 hours into the trip, both ken & i noticed a change in her voice — she became a bit more aggressive, less patient, more irritated. less tolerant and particularly snarky towards ken. then it was my turn to drive, always a treat for ken. since i am not a merger — i can stay in one lane for say ten days — just going where that lane takes me. and it was while i was driving, and ken was overlapping, interrupting the GPS GIRL … saying make a left make a left make a left… go on merge, merge, merge … you can go now… go on… now now now NOW NOW that the GPS GIRL stopped talking. she went completely silent.

i kid you not.

and she stayed mute for an hour. a whole hour without saying a word. complete silence.


ken got behind the wheel. that’s when her voice came back big & strong & oh so frickin’ loud:

and that goes under the category of HMMMMMMM.

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One Response to “OM…GPS”

  1. Maxee

    OMG!!!! I am laughing out loud, so hard I have tears in my eyes rolling down my cheeks. Howard is looking at me kinda strangely. As if to say “What’s so damn funny?”
    Gonna let him read this next.
    You are hysterical, Amy my love. And absolutely BRILLIANT!
    Thanks so much for your wonderful humor and the laughter.

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