Marrying George Clooney

I am thoroughly convinced that a GPS GIRL is just like a pet.
you know how your pet starts taking on your characteristics?
okay, maybe not your pet, my pet. my pets. my cats, bella & lotus are just like us. lotus is happy & content & loves sex. bella likes googling old felines and leans toward anxious & cranky.
anyway…
i have found that the GPS GIRL takes on the personality of the owners and/or city you rent a car from. For instance, when we were in LA we rented a car, and the GPS girl was slightly snarky, a bit aggressive and very impatient. when she said re-calibrating she said it with attitude. sort of like, “hey, i own this town, you’re just a visitor.”
in new mexico the GPS girl was more enlightened, less snarky, much more tolerant, and preferred to let me drive around for awhile in a zen like fashion — figuring that maybe i needed to get a little lost and then find my own way. sort of like, “que sera sera.”

which brings us to this week. tuesday. we borrowed a GPS from our friends. two lovely sweet wonderful calm friends. calm people. we were driving from our home to rockport, and i of course felt that we needed some direction and since mapquest takes you out of the way for about an extra hour, i thought we should give the GPS girl a whirl. so, we borrowed the device, and yes just like our friends, the GPS girl was very calm, charming, sweet, very subdued and lovely, and then … no shit … something amazing happened … about 2.5 hours into the trip, both ken & i noticed a change in her voice — she became a bit more aggressive, less patient, more irritated. less tolerant and particularly snarky towards ken. then it was my turn to drive, always a treat for ken. since i am not a merger — i can stay in one lane for say ten days — just going where that lane takes me. and it was while i was driving, and ken was overlapping, interrupting the GPS GIRL … saying make a left make a left make a left… go on merge, merge, merge … you can go now… go on… now now now NOW NOW that the GPS GIRL stopped talking. she went completely silent.

i kid you not.

and she stayed mute for an hour. a whole hour without saying a word. complete silence.

until…

ken got behind the wheel. that’s when her voice came back big & strong & oh so frickin’ loud:
MAKE A LEFT. MAKE A LEFT NOW. NOW. MAKE A LEFT.

and that goes under the category of HMMMMMMM.