Marrying George Clooney

why is it no one famous ever contacted me, or contacts me after death?
i mean, my god, tori spelling went to a psychic to get in touch with her father and … farrah contacted her. i mean i completely get it, the connection, you know… charlie’s angels … and obviously the whole ‘angel’ thing… and they were neighbors. i get it. i don’t begrudge her at all.

and i’ve gone to many, many, many psychics, intuits, tarot readers – you name it, i’ve done it. past life regressions. check. spiritual healers. check. miss rosalie on tenth avenue. check. check. and never, not once did a famous person from the beyond get in touch with me. i mean i don’t even have old boyfriends get in touch with me…

why not me?

why is it no one famous — dead & famous, which is completely different than a wanna be & a has been — why is it no one famous contacts me?

is it an area code or zip code thing? that sounds doable. our area code changed a few times in the last couple of years. that could be it.

is it because i moved a lot when i was young and never really settled down until i was much older and wiser. possible. you know, it’s hard to keep track, someone’s whereabouts.
is it because i went to the wrong psychics who had no famous (dead) clients? well, that could be. could be.

is it because i wasn’t good enough? hmmmmmmm. not a road i wanna travel down right now.
is it because we didn’t have call waiting when we were growing up and no one – absolutely no one – could get through to us ever? not even live relatives or neighbors.
is it because i needed so desperately to be liked, accepted, paid attention to (when i was MUCH MUCH MUCH younger) that i in fact repelled and nauseated the very people who could have helped me have a big huge massive film career? possibly, but then again hollywood is such a fickle fucking place. trust me if i wrote a script tomorrow and it sold for a gazillion dollars anyone and everyone who never ever returned a phone call would find me in a heartbeat. it’s like being a dog in heat. okay, scratch that notion.

is it because i never dropped the majors…. as in: farrah fawcett majors?

or is it because none of the phone/cell carriers – verizon, at&t, sprint, cellular one – none of them have an FFF plan: friends & family & famous dead people plan?

i can’t believe i even think about this shit.