Marrying George Clooney

she knocked on the door. al gore opened it. she asked what she should call him.
he replied: “call me al.”

from there it gets well, icky weird strange, and turns into a completely different paul simon song.

she said: he moaned & groaned while she was massaging his belly, he wanted more. he wanted her to yes massage lower, keep going…. lower, lower, yes … to there, his penis. then apparently he (allegedly) tried to have sex with her, and yes, yes, she was shocked & outraged (and yes, who wouldn’t be).

okay so right there, that moment, that moment would have been enough for me to file a report. guy forces my hand (literally) and wants me to have sex with him … you know what, fuck him (figuratively).

but she didn’t file a report out of fear because there was no DNA evidence. she said she feared being made into a public spectacle and that her reputation would be destroyed. and i understand that. and i get it. i do.
but why now?
what i don’t get is why wait this long?
why wait years?

and honestly truly i don’t mean to be glib here, but now she’s going public with this. is it that he promised he would leave tipper and marry her? did he say that while he was face down on the table? and then he left tipper and didn’t marry her? again, i don’t mean to be glib, but the time frame is really hard for me. guy is forceful and wants to have sex, and she doesn’t tell someone? anyone? a girlfriend? a boss? the hotel manager? hey the guy in room blah blah, you know, the guy who was vice president of the united states who was mortified that bill clinton got a blowjob, that guy, that guy… al… wanted me to give him a hand-job.
or how about sending yourself a certified letter, “dear me, al gore wanted to have sex with me, and it was icky and strange and gross, and i will open this letter in four to six years and get a really good lawyer and … and… love, me”

but now – a few years later – she wants to go public.
you know what i think, i think this is all about tiger & jesse & all those girls (okay, women) who walked away or are walking away with gazillions of dollars.

and maybe, just maybe there is going to be a line of women who called him al. and maybe, just maybe there are many more icky, weird, strange stories. that’s possible. and maybe that’s why his marriage went into the toilet.

and maybe you’re thinking good god, she’s so bitter & jealous, and filled with a teeny bit of rage … and you’d be right, you would be…. and here’s why: i didn’t have this career opportunity when i was much younger & much too accommodating & much too loose with my own body.

gives new meaning to green with envy.