emotional dryness

okay, first of all, it isn’t just (or only) vaginal dryness that women in midlife (or any time in life) experience.
there’s a whole new dryness folks, and it’s called “emotional dryness,” and yes, i’m in the thick of it.
and yes, sure, i can blame it on the heat, it’s 143 frickin’ degrees out (a mere exaggeration), i can barely move. and when ken said to me in his cute guru sort of way, “honey, i want you to imagine feeling cool,” i looked him right in the eye and i said, “oh baby and i want you to imagine being alone the rest of your life.”

hello air conditioner!

but seriously, the thing is… i was barely able to move in the dead of winter.

i had an enlightening & oh so delightful conversation today with a great woman, and new friend: gregory ann cox, (her website: www.midlifewithavengeance.com) and she said, and i’m quoting, “what we need are lube jobs.”

how fucking great is that!
okay, think about it: a lube job. envision it: an internal emotional lubrication.
i mean that’s it, nail on the head.
to feel rejuvenated. to wake up in the morning & feel joyous, empowered, sexy, vibrant, excited about all & everything, passionate, and yes, yes… energized.

and yes, yes i bet like me, there are tons of women (and men) who take all sorts of stuff to jump start their life.
you name i’ve tried it, or take it, or ordered it and some of it, no doubt, is sitting in carton in my garage.

so, no, it’s not just the weather.
it’s not just the heat – although holy mother, it’s brutal out there.
it’s that (as gregory and i talked about) maybe we gave up believing that we could do anything.
it’s sort of like i stopped dead in my tracks, and the blood isn’t flowing.
and yes, i can feel it. inside if me. the dull, achy, weird, what the fuck feeling that is lodged between the breast bone and the belly. it sits there.

well, this is what i realized today – this is exactly what my mother (and i wager most) felt at some point in her life. the dullness, the weirdness, the achy, the what the fuck feeling … and she picked up a TV clicker, and didn’t let go. and that, as they say, was that.

my mother watched the world go by on a RCA or Zenith (I can’t remember) color TV.

let’s say it all together now, on the count of three… one two three:

Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »

6 Responses to “emotional dryness”

  1. Gregory Anne Cox

    What a great treat it is to find another person who feels like you do, who wants to help others who feel like you do feel, well, better, lubricated with joy. That’s just who I found in you Amy, a co-conspirator in all things juicy.
    Your book brought us together. Your generosity and kindness in agreeing to participate in this conversation about helping women feel better at midlife is like walking into an air conditioned room you when it’s 147 degrees outside–invigorating and stimulating– a blessing.
    Here’s to lube jobs, humor, and putting down the remote.

  2. Hollye Dexter

    And I’m having a completely different problem, teetering on the very sharp edge of perimenopause. Rather than dryness, I’m actually hemmoraging. I’m anemic and aching and miserable and sick of it.

    But I’m too restless to watch TV. I feel like we just need to do something fucking drastic, like buy a can of bright red paint and go crazy painting our houses. Or sell all our possessions and go live in the woods, or rent a bi-plane and broadcast our feelings all over the sky, or write a crazy-ass book. Why the hell not. All these women on the verge of madness or dryness…where to go with it?

    Amy, step away from the clicker….you have a revolution to lead.

  3. kristine

    A Lubrication Revelation…or was that Revolution? Either way women are changing themselves, their bodies, the world; perceptions of strength and truth and honor and friendship. So glad to be part of it.

  4. PamelaJo

    Okay, just made me realize that I have changed the remote for the mouse. I knew I needed to do something. I wasn’t going to let heart problems and menopause take me down. After all these years of everyone telling me to do something I actually started to blog and found a whole world of people out there. It’s great to know your not alone in this. I knew my mother went thought this but she is no longer here to ask about it. So I am very glad you Ladies are. Everyone raise your glass… Here’s to the revolution and lube jobs. Sign me up.

  5. Krista

    I don’t know what I need, but I need something. A lube job? Maybe. Surely, not a boob job. And I have an actual job. But I need something desperately. A new way of thinking. A thought job? A mind job?
    I’m not emotionally dry. I’m way too emotional. I cried today when someone offered to get me coffee, but I responded too late to take her up on it. What is wrong with me? Amy. I’m sorry it’s so hot there and that you’re emotionally dry. It’s cold here and I’m emotionally soaked. We should get together and enjoy great weather and joy.

  6. Monica Holloway

    Amy, I just told my sister last night that I felt empty and anxious and worried. And that I needed to reassess my life – to be happy and tap into all the joy. And you just told me exactly how I feel – I feel DRY. My skin’s dry, my mouth’s dry, my insides feel SO dry. I do need an emotional lube job. I look around and think, “Hey, this is a pretty good life. Get over yourself,” but when I wake up, there it is again, an emotional flatness that supercharges anxiety. I’m 47, I have a period every two weeks practically and I’m all over the place emotionally. This feels like a place I’ve been before, but never at such an intense level. Maybe together, we can all figure out how to receive with an open heart, an emotional lube job. Whatever it is. It could be standing under a waterfall crying or it could be a really hot chai latte or it could be something I’ve never even heard of or done before. I need it, Baby. That’s all I know. And you just explained it to me. I love you for it.

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