up on the roof….

it’s all about me.
we’re doing an addition.
i have to say right up front that i love my house. love it, with a capitol L. it’s sexy and fun and filled with absolutely gorgeous art. stunning. from the first moment ken & i met, we collected art. we have louis comfort tiffany mingling with keith haring mingling with reginald brill and dan shupe, and then there’s david greenbaum kicking ass next to kulvinder dhew who is mingling with v. johnson and the exquisite black and white walker evans photo which makes the orange, black, and white alastair gordon painting look luscious which makes the painting by maxee really truly pop.
and now…
now we’re doing an addition.
and this is where all hell breaks lose.
this for your information is ken’s dream. his retirement dream. adding a dining room.
my dream is paris for a month, or two… or three.. smoking cigarettes, drinking wine, getting a whooping cough and having a parisian doctor telling me the only cure is to stay in france for a good few years,
that is my dream.
ken dreams of knocking down a few walls, causing a stir, bonding with the contractor, having a few beers at the end of the day and talking about how their wives don’t understand their passion.
this is a small town.
there used to be only one fax machine within a 5 mile radius– at arnold’s mini mart –and god forbid that got jammed.
so here we are, doing an addition to our already spectacular home. i gotta say, not shit, my home knocks my socks off. it’s like the perfect place for two folks. sexy. fun. eccentric. ecclectic. we’ve had great sex here. plenty of great sex here. i don’t need to elaborate. you get the picture.

and now the screaming and yelling begins. the fighting. the fuck you, no no no no FUCK YOU.
because i gotta say for the record, there is no way on this earth that you can break through a room and a woman will stand by calmly watching as all her personal effects get rattled to their core.

i will love you.
but i will be a mother hen to each and every tchokches that landed in this house.
watch out for the hummel pieces, they’re not the tall & silent type.

this is retirement.
not at all what i expected,
i expected stacks of books, day trips, loads of movies, some memory lapses, great wine, and a few “hey, wanna visit bob?”

i didn’t expect walls to crumble, and windows being pushed out.
but you know.
he’s my guy.
can’t do better than him. on a scale – a nine.

i’ll watch and wait and hold him at night when he’s feeling weak and tired and completely overwhelmed with why oh why oh why.. and tell him: a dream takes time.

i love him.
he’s worth it.
it adds spice.
spice is needed at 55.

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2 Responses to “up on the roof….”

  1. Madge Woods

    I admire your ability to let this just happen. I love my house so much as well. It is all me now after being married for the first 20 years and now for the last 23 it has been all mine, all mine. I had a boyfriend once who went around the world and he made me his power of attorney and put all his worldly possessions in my garage and a few of the precious items I found a place for in my house among all my treasures. We are so much alike it is scary as I read your musings. Anyway, i met him twice for 4 and 6 weeks in various countries. When he came home he expected me to have changed my mind and let him move it. I gave him exactly two weeks to get his stuff and his own place. He was pissed but when I got divorced I really didn’t want to be married. I don’t share well anymore after sharing for 20 years. I really find your blogs so charitable and so filled with love and patience. Maybe there is still hope for me but I could never sit back while my house was being remodeled by a man who might have moved in. Not now, not ever. But you do point out it can work. I absolutely love that you so in love.

  2. Molly

    Amy, dear Amy… how very well said. We are currently up to our asses in shingles and siding as we finish our garage/shop/barn … call it what you will, during, of course the hottest week of the year. We fall into bed exhausted, and there are days when tensions run a bit higher and we snipe at one another like an old couple that has lived together far longer than the 16 we have shared. And, then there are the moments of joy and hilarity and overwhelming thankfulness as we look at the mountain looming over us – Like you I unabashedly love, love, LOVE our home. It is worth it, he is worth it, we are worth it – Thank you for always putting words to life.

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