dear mr. seeds….

it’s all gonna be swell.
more than swell.
P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N.
i know i know. it’s hard, it’s fucking hard, this waiting thing. its excruciating. up & down, up & down. one minute you’re absolutely sure its gonna happen, the next … you’re singing amy winehouse: no,no,no.
one minute you’re convinced it’s all gonna go away.
it won’t.
i promise.
one minute you feel like you have all the answers, the next minute, the world feels like it’s exploding & imploding.
this waiting thing.
one minute you’re planning paris & italy & london, and then boom. you’re sure you’ll be homeless.
one minute you’re feeling joyous & filled with the hope.
the next: holy shit. despair.
one minute a new wardrobe.
the next you’re selling all your possessions.
one minute you’re gonna go and travel the world and save every single person who has no shoes.
the next you’re on eBay trying to refi your blahniks.
one minute you’re thinking i have no more friends. not a one. pouff. all gone. bye-bye.
the next minute a 1-800 flower bouquet arrives. all white, with a dash of purple with a love poem.
one minute you think it’s all a big gigantic why the fuck did i do this mistake.
the next minute you realize NOTHING IS A MISTAKE.
one minute you’re filled with fear & doubt & sorrow & wishing you could turn back the clock.
the next minute you say FUCK IT and realize that time is all you have, and by god it’s precious.
one minute you swear you’re living in the now, living in the moment. be here now.
the next minute you’re wondering if you have enough minutes left over for friends & family and there is no plan.

but the thing is mr. seeds, the real true thing:

it’s all, every bit of it, it’s all gonna be more than okay.

it’s a new life mr. seeds.
and i truly deeply adore & cherish you.

like velcro.

Category: Uncategorized 8 comments »

8 Responses to “dear mr. seeds….”

Madge Woods
August 5th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Interesting and a little different for you. Not as happy.
Kathleen
August 5th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Amy: Brilliant!!
I bet Jeffrey will FRAME this blog.

How loving, true, sincere. Such a friend!
Barbara@The Middle Ages
August 5th, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Wow, Amy. Did you hit the nail on the head! This is explosive and gentle. Realistic and hopeful. And true and true and true.
PamelaJo
August 6th, 2010 at 12:59 am
WOW… That’s all have to say just… WOW.
Jeffrey
August 6th, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Thank you Amy. This really helped me get through the last 2 days.
Kim Brittingham
August 6th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Beautifully put, and seemingly plucked from inside my own whirring head. Except for the “it’s all gonna be more than okay” part; that almost always has to come from someone else.

Isn’t Mr. Seeds lucky to have you to so lovingly remind him!
stacy thunes
August 7th, 2010 at 1:12 am
You are a genius. I love you.
Donald. Sanders
August 10th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
You are absolutely correct. Nothing is right or wrong-ANY ACTION, RIGHT OR WRONG, IS BETTER THAN NO ACTION.
Take warfare for instance, genocide. To most of us genocide is an evil, evil thing. Others view it as an act of love and protection for their family and future descendents. There are places in Africa and Eastern Europe where it is not uncommon for enemies to kill every male child and adult. Others have found that it is necessary to kill every man woman and child. If you leave one baby alive-he will grow up and it will start all over again and it never ends. Like everything else, warfare is two sided. What one person thinks is wrong, the other thinks it’s right.
There is one thing that is lacking in this world of ours-we need more velcro and I think it’s gonna be swell too, but not in this life.
You talk hard and write hard but I know what you say is true and I know it is full of love and I wish others of violent nature could read what you have to say. If they did, they would know that we are all human, make mistakes, work them out, and nothing, absloutely nothing requires violence (other than self preservation and the welfare of anyone around you). If we all look out for each other, no matter what they believe or think or say (that’s a human right) you are right, everything will be swell.
Donald