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avatar there will be much blood

forbes just came out with the 10 highest paid authors. i was not on that list. i was shocked, dismayed. and then my husband brought me back down to earth with a copy of our bank statement. hmmm. and then i had this amazing a ha moment, the one that could have put me right on that list. in between patterson & king.

a couple of months ago i was in the middle of one of my more attractive nut-dances, a cross between a crack addict & screaming mimi, when ken turned to me — no shit — and said, “you know you’re just sucking the blood outta me.”

had i had the ability in that moment to stop and think – pause if you will – i could have changed my destiny in that moment. i could have gone from being an average everyday wacky funny weird menopausal woman to, get this: A MENOPAUSAL VAMPIRE.

MARRYING DRACULA, CONFESSIONS FROM A MIDDLE AGED VAMPIRE

come on. come on.
i know you can see it.
i know i can:
all those old boyfriends i googled in the middle of the night…

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Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »

6 Responses to “there will be much blood”

  1. avatar
    Madge Woods

    I love how you think. Hopefully, you set Ken straight for the 100th time.

  2. avatar
    Jane

    LMAO, Amy! You had me at “a couple of months ago i was in the middle of one of my more attractive nut-dances, a cross between a crack addict & screaming mimi…” Know the steps to that dance oh so well!

  3. avatar
    PamelaJo

    Ha, love it. That would put you right up there. Step aside Steven King there is a new author moving up.

  4. avatar
    Linda Tears

    OOOOOoooooh! think that’s scary…try the Senior Vampire Musings…actually I think Count Dracula would be considered a senior at this point…maybe he’s skewing younger…haaaaah! xox

  5. avatar
    Pascale

    Just discovered your blog via More. Love it and your self deprecating humour!

    Will work at admitting my own nut dances! You are brave 😉

  6. avatar
    Barbara@The Middle Ages

    Ha ha! I think this could be the title/theme of your next book.


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