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there will be much blood
forbes just came out with the 10 highest paid authors. i was not on that list. i was shocked, dismayed. and then my husband brought me back down to earth with a copy of our bank statement. hmmm. and then i had this amazing a ha moment, the one that could have put me right on that list. in between patterson & king.
a couple of months ago i was in the middle of one of my more attractive nut-dances, a cross between a crack addict & screaming mimi, when ken turned to me — no shit — and said, “you know you’re just sucking the blood outta me.”
had i had the ability in that moment to stop and think – pause if you will – i could have changed my destiny in that moment. i could have gone from being an average everyday wacky funny weird menopausal woman to, get this: A MENOPAUSAL VAMPIRE.
MARRYING DRACULA, CONFESSIONS FROM A MIDDLE AGED VAMPIRE
come on. come on.
i know you can see it.
i know i can:
all those old boyfriends i googled in the middle of the night…
Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »
August 23rd, 2010 at 11:38 am
I love how you think. Hopefully, you set Ken straight for the 100th time.
August 23rd, 2010 at 12:02 pm
LMAO, Amy! You had me at “a couple of months ago i was in the middle of one of my more attractive nut-dances, a cross between a crack addict & screaming mimi…” Know the steps to that dance oh so well!
August 23rd, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Ha, love it. That would put you right up there. Step aside Steven King there is a new author moving up.
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:06 pm
OOOOOoooooh! think that’s scary…try the Senior Vampire Musings…actually I think Count Dracula would be considered a senior at this point…maybe he’s skewing younger…haaaaah! xox
August 24th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Just discovered your blog via More. Love it and your self deprecating humour!
Will work at admitting my own nut dances! You are brave 😉
August 27th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Ha ha! I think this could be the title/theme of your next book.