setting the bar LOW, way low…

okay, hands up, how many of you take less than?
come on, come on…
okay, fine i’ll be the first one with my hand way up.
me. i take less than. constantly.

holy shit.

my housekeeper comes by twice a month, i pay her 80 bucks a pop, she does surface cleaning. SURFACE FUCKING CLEANING as in: she doesn’t move furniture, or vacuum under rugs, or move tables or chairs. she cleans the surface.

and i always, with a doubt, keep my unhappiness to myself.

but you know what: not good anymore. not any more. i love her, i do, but i want my house cleaned. scrubbed. washed. i don’t need for her to be my friend, or buddy. i need for my house to sparkle.

next rant:

i want friends to call me when i’m in trouble. not an e-mail with some ethereal quote, BUT A CALL. a real live HEY YOU. YOU OKAY? ANYTHING I CAN DO? phone call. if i call you when you’re in pain & suffering & having a hard time, and you can’t pick up the phone to call me, and say:” hey you okay? ken okay? sorry to hear about your shitty week….” well, then, don’t expect me to be all jolly when you resurface and wanna chat. not okay anymore.

NOT OKAY ANYMORE.

not good enough. pick up the phone. say hello. ask how i am. you don’t wanna hear that i’m going through a rough patch, that’s okay… just know that friendship means more to me than that. it’s sacred. FRIENDSHIP IS SACRED TO ME. it’s give & take. the good & bad. it’s reciprocal. or at the least, it should be. everyone is going through something, and everyone needs to know they’re cared for and loved. it’s not good enough to say, wow, i’ve been thinking of you — pick up the phone and say it. it makes a world of difference. you’ll be able to hear someone smile when you say that.

we live in a world bombarded with selfishness, everyone is confused, suffering, torn to bits. it’s not okay anymore to say the world sucks, and then duck and cover when you’re going through a rough time. WE’RE ALL GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME. hold someone’s hand., reach out. be bigger. pick up the phone, step outta yourself. share your pain, let someone talk about theirs.

my friend & i made a pledge today – a pinky pledge – that we were no longer going to set the bar way low. expectations were being elevated to new heights. we were going to set the bar at trapeze height for now on. it goes like this: we stick our neck out. you stretch yours. someone jumps. someone catches you.

less than is no longer good enough. not on a personal level, and certainly, not for the world we live in, inhabit.

mediocrity is so easy.

it takes so little to reach half way.

i’m gonna try saying “not good enough” for a week or two, and see where that takes me to.

what new heights i can reach.

maybe i won’t get far. but i’m gonna try.

Category: Uncategorized 4 comments »

4 Responses to “setting the bar LOW, way low…”

Madge Woods
September 25th, 2010 at 11:07 am
This is the best blog for me. I started doing not less than a few years ago and it works. I still reach out and talk live on the phone. That is the one thing I don’t like about the internet-it makes it to easy for us to say “like” and not have a real conversation. Give me your number and I will call you to give you comfort. I am really big on that.
Great blog for Saturday morning. Thanks Amy.
stacy
September 27th, 2010 at 2:19 am
wow. i am so glad that i called you the other day. i am SO GLAD i called you. because i procrastinated and doubted you would even want to talk to me, in light of all the shit you have been going through and yeah, i wanted to hear your thoughts on my situation but i wanted to reach out and hear about you and even though you helped me SO MUCH i hope that i wasn’t selfish and took your energy and gave you something back because i just love you so darn much and want you to be amazingly happy!!! i am raising the bar. i thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Jane
September 27th, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Give me your phone number!! I’ll call!! OK – I probably won’t. I have become absolutely HORRIBLE at using the phone. My best friend and I have a saying: “Don’t make me pick up the phone.” After we have not gotten responses to various emails and/or texts. When the phone rings now at my house my husband and I look at each other and say “Who died?” But you are absolutely right! You really are. Nothing replaces a phone call asking “Are you alright? Is there anything I can do?” or even “Just calling to say ‘Hi’ ” Thank you for reminding me.
melody george
September 29th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
There is another thought Amy…
You are to some…a movie star…
Im not kidding here. Do you know how many times I thought about calling you..just to say hi! …just to see how youre doing…just to make sure youre ok…? But I feel like I would be intruding..bothering you…Im not kidding..
I cant help myself.
You are so genuine..and down to earth …and real…but I have this dilemma of hero worship…To me..you are Anne Tyler(with a witty edge)…and I have this weird thought..If I called you..your manager would answer..or one of your handlers and they’d say..”Ms Ferris is not available to her fans now…please send a request for a picture and we will make sure you receive one…Thank you!”
I know ..I know…
But its the truth…
I am going to call you ! This is my pledge…just to say hi..just to let you know I do care..and if your body guard answers…well….then so be it..Ill tell him to pass the message along to you..”a fan called…she said she loves you very much…”