bah humblog

i just wanna preface this by saying, yes, YES… i did get it. i do now understand that what we put out there – into the world & universe – comes back to us. our doubts, our joys, our fears, our pain, our discomfort, our great happiness, our distrust, disbelief, and oh holy shit…. our deep dark fear of a confrontation.

and yet … there was another round of tests.

ken got stung by a yellow jacket and started to swell, he was scared. i was kind and gentle, and eased his worry and found a benadryl in a hot nano second in his oh so messy drawer.

i had a god awful bloody nose. our freezer was now working thanks to the repairman who showed up on time, so i was able to ice pack it. ken didn’t procrastinate one minute; tissue, ice. asap.

ken 1, amy 1.

our car did in fact “blow a head gasket,” and it blew friday night right after we brought it home, after it had been fully repaired, after i had set up an altar in my home to the gods of middletown mazda, and once again we made the pilgrimage back to the mazda dealer, and while my car gently weeped, i demanded a loaner car and/or rental car right now this minute on their dime, i said in a clear crisp voice: you didn’t repair my car, you have to pay for it. i’m not paying for your mistake. and i didn’t give up or give in and i feel grand about that.

and …

i decided to go out last night to see some friends, without ken, because he didn’t want to go out, and was quite fine without me being home, and … i was quite fine being with our friends without ken. when i got home, i could hear him stirring in bed, so i tip-toed into the bedroom, and he was in fact awake, so i asked him if he missed me, and without missing a beat he said, “no, i needed” – get this – “my own space,” (copy cat, he repeating what i say) and before i could blow a gasket, which is my oh so natural tendency, i took a breath, leaned in, and kissed him, a long wet kiss, and said, “good, you needed your space,” and i said it without any nastiness or cynicism, or bitterness, as in “oh, go fuck yourself.”

and with that, i crawled into bed, and ken turned to me and said: “but now i’ll be able to sleep.”

i love a man with a perfect sense of timing.

Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »

6 Responses to “bah humblog”

Madge Woods
September 26th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
You are lucky to find one of those.
Linda tears
September 27th, 2010 at 1:17 am
With your blog I get to live two lives rather than just one!!! Thank you my sweet…
Krista
September 27th, 2010 at 6:51 pm
I think this means you’re growing up. Both of you. xoxoxox What’s your secret?
Barbara@The Middle Ages
September 28th, 2010 at 11:50 am
I love this. Our lessons are hard-won, I guess, but ah, the reward when they are won!
Hollye Dexter
September 28th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Beautiful!
Amy 1- Ken 1

Amy and Ken won!
Debbie
September 28th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
AWWWW! He needed his space but can’t sleep without you!!!! THAT’S TRUE LOVE. P.S. Danny was riding his bike a few weeks back and swallowed a bee that stung him in his throat. DID HE GO TO THE DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY? NO. Cuz he’s stubborn man. That night, raging headache and fever – called in sick, which he NEVER does. Did he listen to me when when I told him you better get to a doctor … ugh.

MISS YOU LOVE YOU MEAN IT!
Deb