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organizing dinner
okay so here’s the deal:
a friend calls me tonight and says she needs my opinion about something, and it’s very, very important. VERY IMPORTANT, as in: i need your advice right now.
i of course drop everything and say yes, of course. i’m here for you.
WHAT?
what? okay…here goes. i need advice about this friend… you know, friend problem.
i pour a drink, settle in and listen.
she goes on to tell me a very long and complicated story.
it involves theater on friday night, and friends and a dinner party. a big lovely dinner party.
another call comes in, she puts me on hold.
i read PEOPLE MAGAZINE.
she’s back.
hi, sorry.
yeah, uh. huh. i ask her if she knew that david arquette and courtney cox were separating.
who?
right.
she asks me if i think it was unfair that a friend – the friend who is making the dinner party – did not want her to invite her “significant other” to this dinner party? i am about to answer when another call comes in.
i hang up after holding for 4 minutes.
i start dinner.
she calls back. apologizes.
i accept.
pour a bit more wine.
okay, where was i, yeah yeah, okay so she doesn’t want me to invite my … you know, my boyfriend, but she’s invited a couple of friends that, you know, haven’t known her as long, whatdya think?
i say, well, you know…
and she gets another call.
i hold.
i flip the fish. saute the beans.
pour some more wine.
ken and i have a fight over the beans.
she comes back on the line, where was i? oh yeah, yeah. well, you know, she invited a bunch of other folks, but said she couldn’t handle one more, should i be upset, i should be upset, right?
ooops. another call. she says sorry, she’ll be right back.
i wait exactly ONE SECOND.
i hang up.
i flip the fish, drink more wine, saute the beans, fuck you ken, fuck you amy.
it starts to rain.
as in pour.
more wine.
my phone rings.
HELLO.
oh god sorry. where was I? oh yeah. yeah. whaydya think?
i think i can’t believe i wasn’t invited to this dinner party.
i say.
fuck you ken.
fuck you amy.
huh?
not you.
well, maybe.
whatdya think really?
really, what do i think really? i think i can’t believe i’m not invited to the dinner party.
oh. shit. sorry. oh shit. sorry. really. i wasn’t thinking.
ORGANIZING AMERICA?
how about a simple little dinner.
LET’S GET IT RIGHT.
or
LEFT … as the case may be.
Category: Uncategorized 3 comments »
October 12th, 2010 at 6:14 am
I would have said if you want my opinion don’t take the other calls and told her to wait and not call her back. I hate when people want your full attention when they call and then take other calls instead.
October 12th, 2010 at 11:46 am
putting someone on hold, a friend, is like when you are standing in line at the store, money in hand to buy your thingy and the salesperson won’t get off the phone with a POTENTIAL customer to ring you up, bag your purchase and send you happily on your way….Take your money and go home.
“No body puts baby in the corner, no body” thank you Patrick Swayze
October 13th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Deb was just telling me that a study found that the boomer generation (don’t know if your friend is a boomer or not) is exceptionally ENTITLED. How do you fight that? If they’re entitled, can they ever see they are WRONG???