HeartVille – A Valentine for Mark Zuckerberg

dear mark,
i heart you.
you’re probably thinking, “oh shit, another freak female stalker who wants to friend me and then show up at my house and tie me up and rob me blind.”
uh uh. that’s not me. i’m not the crazyville stalker.
i don’t even wanna sleep with you, nor have i envisioned you naked. and quite honestly, it’s not you, it’s me,
i’m happily, happily HAPPILY married.
well, maybe not 365 days a year … maybe more like 342 days a year. the other few scattered days, i’m generally upping my zoloft, but those days (thankfully) are few and far between now. all this to say, i love my husband, and OMG, he’s not even on facebook. he doesn’t have a facebook page, or maybe… uh oh, just… maybe he does, and maybe i’ll find that out one day and then we’ll get divorced on facebook and he’ll have virtually no friends left because i will rip him a frickin’ asshole…

okay. i know. i know… i sound like a stalker from crazyville. i know. i know.

it’s so easy to go off on a poking tangent.

(after all, this blog, this valentine is FOR YOU.)

but before i tell you why i heart you so deeply … i just want you to know that you have probably changed the jewish household mother/daughter landscape more than you ever, ever imagined. i don’t know if you’re quite old enough to remember when all jewish mothers would tell their daughters, “please, for god sake, make me happy, marry a doctor.” now they say, “please, for god sake, find and marry a mr. farmville, or a mr. toyville, or a mr. potatoheadville, someone who will grow virtual trees and gardens and vegetables, and sell you virtual animals to put on your virtual farm, someone who will make a ton of money out of virtual crap. fuck doctors. find that virtual farmer man – but for god sake, make sure he’s circumsized.”

seriously, this is why i heart you:

there are a ton of women (and a few guys) that i would have never ever known – ever – not in a million frickin’ years if it weren’t for facebook. the list is fairly long: melody and hollye, and troy and linda, and amy wise, and spring warren and stacy and tracy and cheryl and rose and david lacy and jesse, and maxee, and madge and kristine and erin and julie and barbara and gigi and eva and andie and krista and gregory ann and amy f, amy l, and amy e., and kathleen, and stephanie and frances, and carol, and richard, and jody and marcia and debbie and lois and patty and tom and mitchell and debra and rachel and monica and sivan and jas and nicole and … barbara radecki and ingrid and cynthia and robin and sharon and JEFFREY.
and ALL the brilliant, creative, stunning iPinion folks…
and ALL the StyleSubstanceSoul gorgeous amazing women…
and All the spirited women…
and ALL the middle-ages blog post sexy WOMEN

on and on… AND ON.

all because of you. mark zuckerberg.

i would have never known them, never, ever. and now i can’t imagine life without them. i love them. madly. truly. deeply. with all my heart. they fill me, encourage me, inspire me, save me on a daily basis. holy shit batman.

and the truth is, it’s very easy to poo-poo facebook. OMG. to get freaked out about transparency and who knows what about me now, and no more secrets, and being friended and then de-friended, and who is snooping and all the shit we all talk about, yes, behind your facebook.

but i thank you.
i heart you.

i will toast you tonight.

all my love and virtual valentine’s,

amy ferris

Category: Uncategorized 8 comments »

8 Responses to “HeartVille – A Valentine for Mark Zuckerberg”

  1. Madge Woods

    I agree with you Amy Ferris, my facebook friend first and then my real friend and then my friend I actually got to meet in person in my own home for a party for you, Amy. An amazing journey. Love you lots.

  2. Carol

    So so true!! Without FB, I would have never met so many awesomely outrageous people!! Some we’ve finally met in person and some just make me fell so cared for. Happy V day right back Mrs. Ferris!!!! I <3 U !!! xox

  3. Amy Wise


  4. stacy

    you said is, sister. as usual, you say it better than i could ever. i need facebook… for all its love/bring-togetherness/ destruction/ingeniousness/laughter/insightfulness/information giving and gathering. i love anything that brings me closer to the heart of people. i love it. and i love you!!!

  5. Jane

    Shouldn’t you have put this on Facebook? :0)

  6. Barbara@TheMiddleAges

    I agree, I agree, I agree!!! So true. I can’t believe the difference between my sense of world community last year to this year. It is a revolution. A good, peaceful, loving one. In my world, anyway. Thank you sooooo much for coming into my circle, Amy Ferris (and all you glorious babes) and welcoming me into yours. xoxoxo

  7. kristine

    probably a life saving tool…should be a requirement for anyone taking anti-depressants, seeing a therapist or lives with a mother in law…
    When you can’t find an OUT there are always your PEEPS on Facebook. They are there in an instant. I have found some even show up and share a virtual glass of wine…

  8. Cheryl Moseley

    I just saw this blog for the first time.
    Each of the last two nights I watched Mr. Wonderful and Social Network, totally coincidently. I’ll address MW separately.
    Amy, my life has changed because of FB. During my 45th Venice High School reunion, October 2009, several friends tried to convince me to join FB. I wasn’t interested, and quite apprehensive of this mysterious site floating around in the universe. I said “No” to their hounding me. I finally gave in 10 months ago. Now, I can’t imagine life without FB. I have met so many wonderful people, and mostly, because you were the hub of the Ferris Wheel. OLD friends, including several from KINDERGARTEN and Brownies, all the way through my growing up years, nursing career, and NEW friends from all over the world, and beautiful wonderful, caring, loving, interesting, diverse, stimulating, and kind people, women and men. I am so grateful to Mark Z. I don’t mind that he had his own personal issues. That’s his karma. I don’t mind that he’s a billionaire x 2 or 3 or more. My life has been touched for the better, and I can touch other people’s lives. A belated Happy Valentine’s day to Mark Z. And <3 to you, Amy.

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