virgin mary with a twist of lime

oh my god.
everywhere, they’re (she is) popping up everywhere.
one woman saw the virgin mary in a snow drift. she said she was temporarily blinded and when she finally had her vision restored … there she was: the virgin mary. all in white, arms stretched out, beckoning her. she swore it was not a snowman.
another woman saw the virgin mary in a shopping mall, next to the verizon kiosk; her husband doubted her, until he too caught a glimpse. apparently, they were not “verizon friends and family” members, but, since the sighting, they switched over, received bonus points AND (HOLY FRICKIN’ MOLY) they will not be charged for roaming.
another woman claims she too saw the virgin mary while traveling out to long island in a rain storm. it was so alarming (she claimed), that she rammed her car into a pole. a policewoman wearing a hooded clear slicker came to her aid. while i’m not one to burst bubbles, this one seems just a bit suspicious. although it could have been a virginal policewoman. who am i to throw water on that?

and i have just read that another woman witnessed and photographed the virgin mary while in scotland and the photos are pretty frickin’ telling. i mean, OMG. or OMVM. that’s a wow.

and to be quite honest, i too have seen, witnessed the virgin mary. ken & i were quite amazed when she appeared on a bialy that we had bought at H&H bagels (we have it tucked away in the freezer). recently we saw the virgin mary on a log burning in our fireplace, it was sort of like a 3D virgin mary. unfortunately, we didn’t have the 3D glasses, but drinking helped.

and just last night i coulda sworn that the virgin mary appeared on my down comforter.

i was absolutely sure.

but then upon closer examination, it was not the virgin mary at all – it was the outline, impression of where bella (our sweet kitty) had been sleeping until i woke her up with my deep need for her to pay attention to me – lick me, love me, tread on me., give mama a high five paw.

so, at the end of the day, when all is said and done…

i guess we’re all looking & hoping & praying for miracles.
(although i gotta say, everyone, and i mean everyone, gets royally fucked with roaming charges!)

Category: Uncategorized 8 comments »

8 Responses to “virgin mary with a twist of lime”

  1. Madge Woods

    Amy-you are the non virgin Mary to me.

  2. Madge Woods

    I meant to say the non virgin, virgin Mary to me.

  3. Hannah Kozak

    I love this blog. Amy-Do what all smart Jews do when roaming: Rent a phone! The virgin Mary last spotted in Jerusalem hoping to have a chai tea, no ice, with me in the Jewish Quarter. ☜

  4. David Lacy

    Love this!

  5. Debra DeAngelo

    For a virgin, Mary sure gets around!


    Yeah, and we’re not gettin kissed either!

  7. Linda tears

    Your imagination belongs in the Smithsonian!!! Gorgeously YOU!

  8. Nancy Wurtzel

    You are hysterical. I SO agree on those roaming charges! Keep up the twisted writing…the world needs it, and the Virgin Mary would love it.

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