at the corner of Farm & Crazy VILLE

i mean, obviously i have too much time on my hands. maybe it’s the weather (cold!), maybe it’s menopause (okay, POST-menopause). maybe it’s that i’m listening to “wait, wait don’t tell me” on NPR and realizing there’s nothing better than smart & fun & witty & charming all rolled up in one.
i am gonna try and be all those things right now.

and, yes, i wanna make a bundle of money, but i don’t really wanna leave my house. i mean, my god, my biggest dream: being philanthropic while wearing my pajamas! so i’m thinking …. how to combine my wit & humor to anything & everything virtual… so… i have a few ideas.

here goes:

ShoeVille. cheap. expensive. flats. platform. over the knee. leather. plastic. UGHs. CROCKS. from the knees down (with a virtual mirror) you’ll be able to see if the shoes make your legs look long & sleek & sexy, or like straight sticks, or you know, god awful.

ReUpholsterVille. Hey, maybe that couch would look better with stripes and/or an aztec print. Leather? Velvet? Black, White, Orange? How about a new look for that old chair or loveseat? And for an extra few pennies you can reupholster your old car seats.

RetireVille. Longing for golf, but don’t want to pick up a putter? Looking for a pottery class with 12 other women, but don’t want to get your hands dirty? An all inclusive (including early bird specials) virtual retirement village. Maybe you don’t really wanna leave your house, the one you’ve been in & lived in for 48 years, but there are days you wish you could… well now you can: Florida, San Miguel or how about an entire virtual month in Provence? Hola, bonjour…. HELL-OH.

ConeyIslandVille. Eat a virtual Nathan’s Hotdog with all the trimmings, and then take any virtual ride you want and throw up in YOUR OWN HOME.

HappyVille. A virtual town filled with smiley faces. (warning, this town is extremely yellow)

FuckOffVille. Where you get to tell people exactly how you feel and still get to keep your dignity.

BraAndPantyVille. For folks who don’t really want to go to a nudist colony.

Category: Uncategorized 5 comments »

5 Responses to “at the corner of Farm & Crazy VILLE”

Carol
March 26th, 2011 at 1:49 pm
This is GREAT!! Right now I’m in CleanOutClosetVille where I imagine that all the bathing suits I have will somehow miraculously fit me by summer. My Virtual body is really so much thinner!!!!!!! I will call it BikiniVille vs. MooMooVille :c) Thanks for always pulling emotions out of me!!!! LMAO Thank God for those wraps/sarapes I bought in the Caribbean, maybe I can sew 2 of them together!!!!!
Love,
Carol from BigGirlsDoCryVille
XOXOXOXOX
Madge Woods
March 26th, 2011 at 3:09 pm
It’s just homeville for me.
kristine
March 26th, 2011 at 5:28 pm
DessertVille…sampling all you want any time of the night or day, dreaming of chocolate and caramel…coconut and toasted almonds…
I’m in
melody george
March 26th, 2011 at 8:50 pm
BY George ..I think youre on to something.!!!!.The amount of “Villes” you could come up with just boggles the mind…
OOOOOOoooooo…Maybe “Boggleville”…for those who dont want to have to think about which “ville” their in!! : P
Deb McGrath
March 28th, 2011 at 10:13 am
Havesomeoneelsedoallyourchoressoyoucanjustwriteandlistentobirdsville!