love means having to say I’M SORRY

yesterday, i woke up with a massive bug up my ass. it was called the right-itis bug. i needed to be right about everything. EVERYTHING. i should’ve just called the exterminator, and had it removed. but instead, i decided to walk around with it – lugging it like a third leg – this god awful bug. ken of course was tongue lashed all day.

you. are. wrong. ken.
wrong. ken.
oh my god you are so fucking wrong ken.
wrong.

we all have these kinda days. nothing works so we need to be right. the hair doesn’t work. the clothes are too tight. the shoes don’t fit. the computer doesn’t respond, verizon sucks. the cable goes out. omg, a royal wedding. another tornado. local politics. and of course, there’s donald trump. trumpitis. i’m totally convinced that along with irritable bowel and restless leg syndrome, TRUMPITIS will makes it’s way onto webMD. this i am sure of. it will be related to any & all rectal problems.

i have amazing women in my life. amazing. i am blessed beyond belief. north south east west. i mean, from childhood friends – ellyn kline, to brand new friends – brenda ruello, and i have many friends who are kind beyond kind, generous beyond generous and loving beyond loving. and there are two women – two friends in particular – nancy isola, and kristine van raden – who both witnessed and experienced first hand “devil-doll amy” yesterday.

OMFG.

hell hath no fury.

and i wasn’t scorned.
i was tired.
i was cranky.
i was on allergy medication.
i was irritable.
i was NASTY.
i was a mo-fo squared.

i was vile.

and i was unkind to both of them.
and…
i felt horrible. awful.
i reacted impulsively, emotionally.

i did.
and, it sat there, like a bad meal. churning.

i knew i had been unreasonable, anxious, on edge.

and today i called them – individually – and told them how sorry i was.
truly. deeply, sorry. holy shit sorry.
sorry enough to be calling from my NO PLAN phone, the one with no minutes available. none. zero. i apologized & i spent money. a twofer.

and today i understood – really, deeply – the power of saying, i am sorry
and the holy shit power of … “i accept your apology.”

erich segal was wrong.
WRONG.

Category: Uncategorized 5 comments »

5 Responses to “love means having to say I’M SORRY”

Madge Woods
April 29th, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Oh Amy we all do those things. I just don’t usually apologize unless I really went over the top. I let people rant and rage and then I can do it safe;y with them as well and we know that we really don’t mean it. If I really meant it and did hurt someones feelings I would apologize.
Kathleen
April 29th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
I saw Ken yesterday and he never looked happier driving in his M….my first impression was how nice Spring is finally here…not nowing you were having an attack of allergy meds~but maybe I saw him after your I’m sorry. Today I saw a red fox walk up your driveway~is that good luck? lol xoxo
kristine
April 30th, 2011 at 12:29 pm
the deal is…”I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” That’s was trust is and the making of a genuine, authentic and painfully real friendship. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
You are Mine…
melody george
April 30th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Amy. I love you. period.
Carol
May 3rd, 2011 at 7:22 pm
OMG Lately I’ve been saying “I’m sorry” Everyday, multiple times!! Sometimes we can’t control ONE friggin thing!! Not one!! DAMMMMITTTT! Ooops, sorry.