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avatar i heart kristine van raden

continuing in my “best blogs, best quotes, best best…” this week, i am re-posting, reprinting kristine van raden’s blog post from her gorgeous BLOG: MATTERS THAT MATTER (stunning blog)
she – kristine – is the cats meow, she has held me up, she has lifted my soul & spirits, she tells the truth and hears the truth. she’s tall & sexy & funny & filled with humanity the size of the frickin’ universe. how lucky we are that she is in our lives, and is our friend? i love her to the moon and back and back again, here goes:

“Freaking Out” comes in waves. Big, nasty, sweep you out to sea, waves. For the most part I am calm and collected as I choose to toss yet another memory place holder on to the Goodwill pile. I hold it, smell it, sometimes shed a tear or two. But the promise of less stuff, a new beginning, a sense of surrender to the matters that truly matter now keeps me focused.

Every now and then I must admit I lose control. My seasoned composure doesn’t even make the donation pile. It flies all around the room, bouncing off every wall and coming back to smack me upside the head. What the fuck am I doing? I hate change…Change in my life has often represented really bad stuff…someone dies, or tries to. Families fall apart, people leave and don’t come back…footings fail, roofs cave in, foul and destructive human beings run for public office and WIN.

When the wave subsides, I catch my breath and return to the business at hand. Slipping from one major chapter into another isn’t easy. Leaving behind ghosts of a family growing up under one roof, grandparents who were independent and had life force enough to spare; trees planted that have now come to be giants in all seasons; roots of all kinds that made me feel like I belonged here…all pieces of the previous chapter.

AND YET…standing at cross roads a choice eventually has to be made. I am confident that forward is the only option. Holding still never really gets you where you want to go. Indeed, it is less work, by far. Less dangerous, less challenging, less emotional…less, less, less.

I want more.

I want to have the time to do more for others. I want to be present for a granddaughter in the making. I want to create good will in a new community. I want to live with less and experience more.

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Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »

6 Responses to “i heart kristine van raden”

  1. avatar
    Madgew

    Love you and Kristine.

  2. avatar
    Debbie

    Hey Aimsters – just wanted to drop you a quick note. I responded to a comment of yours on my Facebook not realizing that your comment was meant for someone else (DOH!) It was about speaking at the San Miguel de Allende Writers Conference. Just wanted to clarify LOL! I thought you were inviting ME to speak! DOH again!

    OKAY MY LOVE – hope all is well and all your projects are successful. You remain my mentor and friend and the first person whoever told me that I was GOOD! … at something!

    love you so much!
    XOXO
    Deb

  3. avatar
    kristine

    there is no place to sit, so I am on the floor amid a stack of boxes that hold stuff I probably don’t need but couldn’t bare to part with quite yet.
    i am in tears…i know you love me and for gawd sake i am grateful. you have a way of reaching across all distances to lift me up, soothe my tired self and always make me glad that we are friends. do you know that i truly love you? you are in…in my heart, my brain, my soul. you don’t need to DO anything…and yet you do, time and time again.
    thank you from the bottom to the top of my 6′ tall self for shining a light on my path.

  4. avatar
    hollye Dexter

    Oh god I just love you both so damn much I could cry. Such good things lie ahead, Beautiful Kristine. Such good things which will intertwine us all. I call myself BLESSED to call you both my friends.
    Oh Amy- you are the champion of all champions. You are the champion of the world!

  5. avatar
    Barbara@TheMiddleAges

    What a beautiful post. Both the giver of it and the speaker within. All heart, you two. All soul. xo

  6. avatar
    Linda Lichtman

    Yeah! Just what I needed – more tears…LOL! What a beautiful post – to a most beautiful friend – from a most beautiful friend. I am so freakin’ lucky to have you both in my life. Amy – you have a way of making situations so clear and radiant w/ just a few words because your feelings go so deep. Kristine – you are not tripping over the boxes – you’re trying to negotiate around your enormous, loving heart.


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