a (small, teeny) secret to a happy marriage

20 some-odd-years ago, shortly after ken & i got married, there were about, oh… i don’t know, 3 or 4 or maybe 5 days of unbearable weather.
hot as hell.
so unbearably hot you would just, you know, melt.


just melt.
it was so frickin’ hot.
stale ugly hot.

for all of you who know ken, you know that he’s a miracle of a guy.
and … stubborn.
oh so stubborn.
and me being me, i push & push & push & fucking push.

so, imagine the heat, combined with stubborn & pushing.
back then, we didn’t have an air conditioner.
we had overhead fans that rotated very very very slowly.
oh. so. slowly.

ken was happy, content.
this was his place to get away.
a gardener. weeding. planting. sweating.
ken really truly lives in the now.

i was not content.
i was not at ease.
i was not happy.
i can’t live in the now. i can live in the i’ll come back to the now. i believe that’s called reliving the past. that i can do. easy peasy.
i was bitter, and sweating, and i wanted an air conditioner.
i went out to the garden, hands on hips, and i said, pouting:
“i want an air conditioner. NOW. i can’t live like this. I WANT IT NOW. right fucking now.”

ken smiles at me, sweet as sugar, and said, “baby, i want you to envision yourself, standing under a cold waterfall.”
“really?” I said, “i want you envision yourself all fucking alone for the rest of your life.”

we bought a portable air conditioner.

so, here were are, 20 some-odd-years later, a mofo of a hot sticky day, & ken was trying desperately to fix the broken air conditioner. he spent a good portion of the morning taking it apart, putting it back together, taking it apart. he was cursing and pissed and unhappy and, well… you can just imagine.

i walked over to him, and put my arms around him, around his sweaty body, and i said, “Baby, baby, baby… I want you to envision a waterfall…”

“blow me,” he said.

and there, right there, the secret to a long, happy marriage.

Category: Uncategorized 10 comments »

10 Responses to “a (small, teeny) secret to a happy marriage”

  1. David Lacy

    Ridiculously good post.

  2. co

    ok. I KNEW there was a reason I got two air conditioners.

  3. Madgew

    Amy, this has me laughing out loud. I love how you remember things and then bring them up when needed. Hope he fixed it or you got a new one.

  4. Hannah Kozak

    You, once again, have given me my first laugh of the day! Witty, seriously funny.

  5. Cheryl Moseley

    Love, love, and always love your blogs, and everything you say!! Magical woman you are. Funny, deep, thoughtful, so witty. STYLE all your own.

  6. Barbara@TheMiddleAges

    Oh!!! Thanks for this laugh!!! (and deep relatability!)
    But this: “i can’t live in the now. i can live in the i’ll come back to the now. i believe that’s called reliving the past. that i can do.”
    Argh, you slay me.

  7. Kathleen

    Glad to read that something was blowing over there~last week was so wicked humid~told you BnB room is all yours if no one is here~xoxo

  8. georgie scarpato

    Hilarious…..I think you and Ken should have your own sitcom!!! I really do!! 😛

  9. melody george

    LOLOL.LOLOLOLOL .imagine tears streaming down my make-up less face and pooling right under my nose and on to my upper lip!! God I needed that…whew…I really did!!! xoxoxox!!! : )))

  10. Debbie

    Amy! You ALWAYS make me laugh out loud! Great post. And so true.


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