under one OH MY GOD

okay, here are my 14 responses (in BOLD) to the 14 pledges concocted by THE FAMILY LEADER, that wacky weird religious right group.

1) homosexuality is a choice. wearing undergarments is a choice.
2) homosexuality is like polygamy, adultery, and polyandry. polygamy, adultery and polyandry is a legal firm that specializes in heterosexual infidelities.
3) sex is better after marriage. sex is much better before breakfast.
4) pornography should be banned. the jersey shore should be banned.
5) homosexuality is a public health risk. fracking is a public health risk.
6) reject sharia law. reject charlie sheen.
7) robust childbearing & reproduction is beneficial to US demographic, economic, strategic… condoms & safe sex & sex education is beneficial to the world at large.
8) married people enjoy better health, better sex, and longer lives. married people also smoke marijuana, text & drive, google old boyfriends & girlfriends. yay for marriage – all & any!
9) respect for the marital bonds of others. NO NEWTS
10) personal fidelity to my spouse. okay, not a bad pledge.
11) abortion is murder. as opposed to, what, getting away with murder?
12) fierce defense of faithful heterosexual monogamy. fuck ’em all.
13) religious freedom and freedom of speech. oh. yeah. right.
14) a commitment to downsizing government and the enormous burden on american families of the USA’s public debt. hands across america for weight watchers.

Category: Uncategorized 3 comments »

3 Responses to “under one OH MY GOD”

  1. kristine
    July 8th, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    You could start your own church…I would be a pledge member.

    Thou shalt no covet they neighbors husband…BUT, if he looks good in tight jeans you can stare.
  2. madgew
    July 8th, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    Love this Amy as usual.
  3. Debbie
    July 8th, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    OK. Better idea, YOU run for president and I’ll be your VP. Or, as Kristine said, you can start your own church and I’ll become a member. Either way, you have my vote/support/admiration.

    XOXO so much,
    Deb

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