i remember…

… the phone call from my friend in LA telling me to turn on the news.
… thinking, “oh my god, someone lost control of their small plane, how horrible, sad.”
… covering my mouth as the second plane hit the building.
… feeling my knees buckle.
… all my friends who worked down there.
… trying to get ken on the phone. trying trying trying trying. TRY. ING.
… hearing my neighbor screaming, no no no no.
… hearing ken’s voice finally on the other end of the phone. my heart calming down for a second.
… walking to my friends apartment, looking up at the sky.
… that morning sky. at first so perfectly blue…
… then smoke filled.
i remember…
… kindness.
… goodness.
… fear.
….worry.
… anger.
… horror.
… terror.
… the pain.
… the sorrow.
… the firemen. the police. the EMS, the doctors, the nurses, the fire trucks & ambulances.
… the workers.
… the running.
… the faces.
… tears, millions & millions & millions of tears.
… the smell of death.
… the hundred & hundreds & hundreds of photos posted on the walls. on the trees. on chain linked fences.
… have you seen? have you seen? HAVE YOU SEEN?
… the families.
… the days & weeks that followed.
i remember…
… the funeral arrangements.
….the marriage proposals.
… the “thank you’s”, the “you’re welcome,” the “please, here, sit.”
… the husbands, wives, friends, partners, children, pets found.
… the lives lost.
… julie’s shoes. her name & her phone number scribbled on the soles in magic marker, just incase… just incase she didn’t make it home.

… and i remember my mom calling, she was just at the beginning stages of dementia, when she was finally, finally, able to get through to me on the phone, her first words: “i don’t like your phone machine, i like your real voice.”

Category: Uncategorized 6 comments »

6 Responses to “i remember…”

Maxee
September 10th, 2011 at 2:52 pm
This piece is so ………………I really don’t know what to say. Amy, it gives me the chills, and now I find tears welling up in my eyes, remembering that horrible day. You have written a piece that has touched my heart and soul. I sit here shaking my head, still not fully comprehending how something so incredibly hateful could happen.
Thank you for reminding us all to “Never Forget”.
Love you so.
Madgew
September 10th, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Oy Vey to your Mom. Complaining on a day where so many had real things to complain about. My son had worked in the building on the 105th floor few years for Cantor Fitzgerald and then moveed to work in their Chicago office. I had visited him in the Twin Towers. He had by the time of the attack left the company but still lost over 200 people who he knew personally. What a terribly sad time and especially for someone who worked and lived in Manhattan. I also imagined what would have happened if my son still had been there. Certain death. The mother strings were pulled very tight that day. As always brilliant piece Amy.
Hollye Dexter
September 10th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
a beautiful, touching remembrance, Amy.

And here I was on the other side of the country, experiencing the same fears and horror and many, many tears.
Lordy, how did we get through that day without each other?
amy wise
September 10th, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Tears. <3
kristine
September 11th, 2011 at 12:05 am
right there with you…for so many reasons, one we will never forget.
Jane
September 20th, 2011 at 10:22 am
where’s amy?