Marrying George Clooney

Dear George,
I know it’s been a while since I’ve reached out. Called. Wrote. Got in touch.
I’m hoping you’re not sitting by your iPhone waiting for that special ringtone, the Amy ringtone, the one with me giggling with excitement. Actually, truthfully… a confession…I was never fond of that ringtone, George. I much prefer the more mature ringtone … but you always liked the younger, perkier, BLONDER ringtone.
No wonder we never really deeply connected.
Okay, enough bitterness.
I forgive you.

I have a favor, a request, and yes, George, good God, yes, I will beg. I will get down on my hands and knees.
But just this once, I have sciatic problems, which flare-up when I beg.
Here goes:

On February 29th our play, MARRYING GEORGE CLOONEY, CONFESSIONS FROM A MIDLIFE CRISIS, opens at Cap21 Theater Company (18 West 18th Street, New York City, New York) and runs through the entire month of March. Frank Ventura is directing. Frank is fabulous It’s a wonderful, funny, laugh-out-loud, poignant play, and I am one of the co-authors along with Krista Lyons, and Ken Ferris! And we have Eliza Ventura (what a babe, and gorgeous!!!!) and Colleen Zenk (double babe!!!!) Really. It’s about midlife, menopause, Ambien, googling old boyfriends, siblings, mothers & daughters, forgiveness, social networking. You name it. And it all takes place in cyberspace in the middle of the night.

Three women sharing, confessing everything from googling old boyfriends, to fantasizing about you …at 3 AM!

And, that’s where you come in!
Do you know what February 29th is?
It’s Sadie Hawkins Day (and no, George, Sadie Hawkins is NOT a gospel group). It’s the one day – the one wholly, complete day – that a woman gets to ask a man to marry her.
It’s that day.
Leap fucking year!
It happens once every four years.
Talk about timing, huh?
So, whatdya say, George, please, come to New York City … come to the play.
I’m not gonna ask you to marry me… I already have my Mr. Wonderful … but I am gonna ask you to give theater-goers the thrill of their lifetime.

You can’t say no to that.
You’re George Clooney.

You’re kind, and good, and philanthropic, and a great humanitarian, and you’re rooting for older women to work in theater and film and television (i read that on Huffington post!!!) and we are those women – we are – the very women over 40… who are awake in the middle of the night who are wishing, hoping, praying – getting down on their knees – that one day you’ll slide up next to them at the local bar and say: “Hey, you’re cute, can I have your number?”

So., come on, George, make this girl very happy and say yes to Marrying George Clooney.

All my love,
Amy

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