Marrying George Clooney

okay. so this is the deal. if someone holds a grudge for say like 9 years and then… then… decides to tell you that you hurt them back in… say 01′ — whatdya say to that? and while i’m on this, what i realized, in my infinite wisdom is that if you don’t tell someone how you feel, that they’ve hurt you, that they’ve ripped your heart out with their tongue… if you don’t tell someone, then you’re not giving them an opportunity to apologize, or defend themselves, or their opinion, or take a stand, or stand up for themselves. you’re just letting shit fester (or is it festor? i never know with spelling, or is it cousin fester from the addams family … i know, i digress) but this makes me wonder:
if we don’t tell someone how we feel about something, that what they did hurts us, offends us, bothers us, pains us … then really we’re not giving them a chance to say i’m sorry.

although, i’m so fucking perfect, i haven’t a clue what i’m talking about.

ken likes reading over my shoulder. i don’t like this. i find it annoying and truth be told, it keeps me from being totally completely honest, because well, when someone leans in, you always always wanna lean back. it’s the whole boy meets girl thing. a guy leans in, you lean back, he leans in closer, you lean back further…
which brings me to this. different subject but still as meaningful.
years ago i would visit a friend in LA, she was a TV producer and I would stay at her house, fab house. right in santa monica. really stunning. gorgeous furniture, beautiful setting. the whole scene. and i would stay there with her and her partner (for a few days of business, plus a fun day or two) and then come home to my NY apartment which i could fit – in its entirety – into her bathroom, and i would plummet into hell. feeling very sorry for myself. i could barely fit my bed in the bedroom. and of course, as they say, whoever ‘they’ are —  the grass is always greener.. and then life changed. my life changed.  my career skyrocketed (thank you hollywood) and i bought a fab apt, and met ken and we have this amazing life. apt, house in the country. with green green grass … and then my friend, the one with the fab house — her whole life explodes – her partner breaks up with her, they sell their house, they both move into new places … and the house, two years later is completely leveled. it no longer even exists. gone pouffffffffffffffff.
so, the grass is really truly greener just for one moment.