Marrying George Clooney

i’ve decided, just today, that i don’t need 50 girlfriends. just 15. 15 is a good number. a strong number. not quite as sexy as say 13 or 17, but 15 is healthy, strong… enough. i have many girlfriends, but not many good slash great girlfriends. okay, maybe definitely more than 15. let me count slash name: barbara, frances, amy f., roberta, beth, robyn, kedren, karen… nancy, terri, holly, marcia, maleyne, donna… laura… maybe one or two more. maybe. oh yeah, bonny. definitely bonny. ellyn, and of course, claire. i’m naming the one’s that are my friends, that want to know how i am, the one’s that i really really like. who would be there in a heartbeat!
which brings me to this: why oh fucking why do we stay in relationships with friends – particularly women friends – that drain us, deplete us, keep us small, make us feel bad, keep us from sharing the good & the bad, put us down, discourage us, and talk nasty, cruel about other women? why oh fucking why? is it that we’re replicating the relationships with our mom? is it that we need to punish ourselves for some unforgiving stupid thing we did when we were 5 years old, or is that we don’t know how to let go of the friends and stuff that causes us pain because maybe we think if we don’t have “that” pain, then we don’t really deeply truly feel? (wow, even i feel like that was too esoterical)
i have a friend who makes me feel god awful about myself ALL THE TIME. and she drains me, and hurts me, and causes me to doubt my own greatness and generosity.
no, i don’t need an intervention — just writing it down cleared it all up. in an instant.
even i shock myself sometimes.

b is for benadryl, c is for cialis, d is for demarol, e is for effexor, f is for flonase, g is for gas-x, h is for habitrol, i is for ibuprofen, j is for java, k is for klonopin, l is for lorazepam, m is for morphine, n is for nicoderm, o is for omega-3, p is for percodan, q is for quaalude, r is for retin-a, s is for stool softener, t is for testosterone, u is for ultracet, v is for valium, w is for wellbutrin, x is for xanax, y is for yodoxin, z is for zoloft

nanny goats in panties. the best frickin’ blog. wow. margaret. my new fave, oh definitely a fave,,,
give her a try. you’ll love her.

okay, for the record i am not a sports type o’ gal. i am the kind of person who watches a game or two at the very, very end of a season, like say the playoffs, the super bowl (ok, well, that’s a bold lie, not really – i do not watch the super bowl, not even the halftime concert), and the world series.
so tonight while karen & i are chatting on the phone, i ask her where tommy is, tommy being her husband, she says oh he’s downstairs watching the yankee game. the yankee game i ask, i didn’t know they were playing tonight, oh yes she says, they’re playing tonight, they’re in the world series, oh i say i know that, i watched the game the other night, oh she says really, i didn’t know you like baseball, i don’t i say… but i sometimes like to watch the world series and i say i hope i’ll get a peek at kate hudson sitting there in the stands swooning over a-rod, and karen tells me that yes yes they’re playing tonight, so we both change the channel until we come upon what appears to be the yankee game, except this yankee game is on the classic yankee channel, which who the fuck knew there was even a channel like that, and i say to her, hmmm, that looks odd to me, are you sure they’re playing tonight and she says, with a massive giggle, of course, can’t you see they’re playing, and i say but if it were the world series don’t you think they’d be on channel 2 or 4 or 7, and she says no…tommy is watching the yankee game downstairs, he’s watching the yankee game, and then i see with my own two eyes that the yankees are playing — get this — the new york mets, they’re playing the mets and i say whoa karen this is not the world series and she laughs and laughs… and laughs and oh how wonderful her laugh is…
and clearly it’s a game from june, because a date appears on the tv screen, and it’s a classic yankee game, and hence the classic yankee channel.
live and learn.
and we both forget for one second that the local library tax referendum went down in flames tonight.
yankee classics channel vs. the classics.
no wonder.